Wednesday, October 03, 2012

A Time And A Season

I've been busy trying to figure out how to balance my life and be a good Mommy. 
It is hard and most days I feel like I've messed up in a dozen different ways. 
While Roscoe brings so much joy to my world, I still feel like I am mourning my old life. 
I know we all know this but being a full time Mom means making a lot of sacrifices.
When I am sleep deprived, these sacrifices, seem overwhelming to me and I get sad.
I have been trying to find myself.
For that I offer no apologies.
I am not the same lady I was before having Roscoe and I think that is okay.
We are all on a journey and there is a time and a season for everything.
I hope you all know that I care about you. 
Here's to the adventure. 
Fritzi Marie

We've been posting tid bits from our life on instagram. 
Look us up at fritzimarie1111


slush said...

I think that as a Mom it is a constant struggle to have some semblance of self, while still doing the best for your kids. Ive been a Mom 10 years now, and I still do not have it figured out. But, its a human thing. Its a constant journey of self growth and parenting. They are not always good friends. Make sure you are taking a little time for yourself. Hopefully Roscoe is napping and you can read a couple chapters of a good book, or take a bath, or google stuff. ;)

While I do not have all the answers, or even a fraction of them, I can tell you that it does get easier.

Much love babe. xo

Holly Hall said...

Oh, Kitty, I think every mother can relate. Six years and two children later, and I still feel like I'm trying to find myself most of the time. Motherhood can really put you in a spin, and when you've entered it in a traumatic, less-than-ideal way, it can be especially difficult to adjust to your new role. I know you're a great mama! We just have to keep doing the best we can, and keep loving ourselves as we figure out who we are now. Hugs to you.


Amy said...

I totally hear ya! For me it's been a constant struggle trying to balance everything with being a good Mom. Before being a Mom I had no idea what it really meant. As a Mother we sacrifice a lot, but gain so much more. I'm so happy for you. Oh how I wish I could see you in action. I just know you are a super Mom. I love and miss you my dear friend.

Micaela said...

This post made me cry Kitty. Because it comforted me and made me feel less alone and most of all-- not guilty for the whirlwind of emotions i have been feeling the past two weeks since giving birth to my beautiful girl.

She is everything i had prayed for... and yet, sometimes in the middle of the night when i am feeding her, i feel incredibly lonely and lost. I hate being away from my family :( and i know a lot of it has to do with that and recovering from my c-section but man have i been a mess. This wasn't something i was expecting to feel.

so thank-you for this honest post. how i wish we could have mommy and baby dates. i think that would do my heart some good!

XO HUGS (thank-you for the one you gave me tonight with your words)

A.M said...

I recently did a similar (although long winded) post, I have a 7&8 year old and still feel lost, I feel like my life is just set to cruise control. I've decided recently to start this journey of trying to find myself again and do things for me :)


Rhianne said...

Oh Kitty I wish I had something to say to make you feel better. However I will say that I adore your honesty and I think that in being true to yourself and how you're feeling, you will be a better person and Mummy... so definitely don't apologise for how you feel x

Stephanie said...

I feel the same way almost every day for at least part of the day. I think any mom who doesn't is either lying or on some serious Xanax.

Giuli said...

It's normal to feel overwhelmed and inadiquate sometimes as a mother. But if it is the majority of the time, and you are really really sad most of the time, and you feel extremely bad about yourself most of the time, then you might need to talk to a doctor. After Max was born, I was literally crying at least 6 times a day, was beating myself up, and felt like a complete failure as a mother. This was after Max was almost sleeping through the night. I had to go to a doctor, and eventually got on some antidepressants that jump started my journey back to reality. Drugs are not the only answer, but they were my lifeline back to sanity, for me and my baby.

Wan Family said...

I hear you Kat. The sad thing for me is that my kids don't know the old me, which I like a lot better. I was so many things back then that I am not anymore. I keep waiting for my old self to reappear. I think one day we'll find ourselves.

Amanda Laurel Atkins said...

Dearest Kat,
Everything you are feeling is so normal. I know I don't have the wisdom of being an actual mom, but I see you and you are doing a phenomenal job. I think so many things happen in our lives that cause us to lose "ourselves" for a little bit (or longer sometimes), but our friends and loved ones always remind us that we are still "us." Definitely never apologize for taking the time to try and find yourself again. The advice I give myself whenever I am feeling sad and struggling with something is to be gentle with myself. I love you so much, and am always wishing you well from far away! xoxoxoxoxo