I want to preface this post by letting you know that I am writing it for me.
Last weekend, I sat down with Dan's phone and looked at the photo's he took when we were at the hospital (for Roscoe's delivery).
Roscoe is nearly three months old and I am going to admit that it took me two and a half months to get over the trauma of the delivery and really fall head over heals in love with my baby.
Don't get me wrong, I've loved my child from day one, but I always thought I would be madly in love with my child immediately.
Instead I felt emotionally and physically beat up.
I felt numb.
I felt like I missed out on all of the special times because I was in such bad shape.
I felt like a horrible mother and I was depressed.
It took me two months to process the whole event and start to feel better.
When I did start feeling better the magic happened.
I fell in LOVE with my Mister Man, Roscoe.
Truly, madly, deeply in love.
People always told me that I would forget about all the awful and be ready to do it all over again.
I don't think I will ever be able to forget the awful but I am getting over it (and that makes me so happy).
It will be a miracle if I ever do it again.
For a lot of reasons.
Despite the horrible delivery and the depression that followed, I always knew that I wasn't alone.
I think many women have hard times bringing babies into the world and it could have been so much worse.
I have more compassion and respect for women and mothers now.
I feel so blessed to have this little man in my world.
I am over the moon in love with him and I wouldn't change a thing.
I just wish I could remember more about that special time.
I wish I could have felt more.
If you are pregnant, I want you to know that I am here for you.
You are working so hard and I am proud of you.